Seven-day Retreat Talk (Day 3)

Morning Talk November 30 

Today I will talk more on illumination. No matter which method you use -- counting breaths, hua-t'ou, etc -- your attention is to point inward; the light of awareness is to reflect back to illuminate the mind. Therefore, you should know whether or not you are on the method, scattered, or dull. Knowing where you are in relation to these three conditions is itself cultivation of the path. In regard to the method of counting breaths, along with the consciously directed act of counting, you will naturally develop a simultaneous awareness that knows you are counting. It is not a direct, conscious awareness; rather, it is peripheral, indirect, unintentional. This awareness is illumination. It should be present no matter which method you use. I should make clear that illumination is not concentration. Concentration demands energy, but illumination is effortless. It rises of its own accord as a natural part of the method. It is like a mother who is busy doing something while her child plays nearby. Although she is not watching the child directly, she is always aware of where the child is and what the child is doing. After you have spent considerable time practicing a method and have become familiar with it, illumination will be so strong that you will no longer be aware of external stimuli. You will be close to that level beyond awareness of space and time, when thoughts are minimal and the body ceases to be a burden. This is effective practice indeed. 

Breakfast Talk 

In order to practice effectively for more than a couple of periods, you must learn to relax your body and mind; otherwise, physical and mental exhaustion will overtake you. On the other hand, while relaxing the body and mind, you must guard against laziness and dullness. If you can maintain this balance between exhaustion and dullness, the energy that is freed up can be channeled into the practice of the method and the cultivation of determination and will-power, which are necessary to continue on the path. Usually, after a long time practicing with one method, you become bored and feel you going nowhere. It is like driving a car across the heartland of America. Hour after hour, the scenery seems the same. You aren't even aware how fast you are going. Then, suddenly, you arrive at your destination. In the same way, though you may be practicing well, it may seem you're not making any progress. If, however, you generate the power to go on -- and on and on, if need be -- suddenly you will arrive. Do not give in to boredom. On the other hand, recognize that when you are excited because you feel you are making progress, you have lost the method. It is necessary to avoid both emotional extremes and simply rely on your determination to continue to work. Since the practice might seem difficult, especially in the beginning, it might be helpful to think of yourself as a trailblazer, carving a path through unknown wilderness. After you have surmounted obstacles and bypassed obstructions a few times on your way to your destination, the path will no longer seem the same. Though obstructions will still be there, your experience in dealing with them will render them ineffective. Practice is a long process. Your objectives on a retreat are to learn correct attitudes for practice and to become thoroughly familiar with your method through continuous work. This will improve your daily practice, helping you to become more diligent, perseverant and patient. Also, you will naturally become more relaxed in body and mind. All these benefits cannot help but improve your life and your practice. 

Lunch Talk 

Already, half the retreat is over. The remainder of the retreat will pass quickly for most of you. It's like life. When I was young, it seemed to take forever to grow one year older. Now each year flies past. I turn around and twenty years are gone. The sutras say everything is impermanent and each fragment of time goes by quickly. Anything we see, hear, or experience is impermanent. When Sakyamuni Buddha first turned the Dharma Wheel, he expounded the doctrine of impermanence. During every Evening Service, we recite, "Be mindful of impermanence, Be careful of idleness." Realize the time you have to practice is precious, fleeting. Once gone, it can never return. If you maintain a clear awareness of the impermanence of life, you will not waste time engaging in vexing thoughts, like jealousy, arrogance, or pointless self-criticism. Not only does the generation of vexations harm you, it also harms those you come in contact with. Therefore, if you maintain this mind of impermanence, you will work hard and practice better; and you will of benefit to yourself and to others. If you feel drowsy during practice, remember impermanence; you will realize you have no time to waste sleeping. If you are afflicted by scatteredness, remeber impermanence; you will realize there is no time to waste with wandering thoughts. Participating on a retreat is a rare occurence. Do your best to make the best of such an opportunity. Some of you have been on many retreats and think you've been practicing for years. This is nonsense. If you consider one or two hours a day of daily meditation and a yearly retreat as continuous practice, you're mistaken. Most of your days, including now, in the midst of a retreat, you are lost in vexation, wandering thoughts and drowsiness. Is this true practice? Great Ch'an practitioners never let there minds stray far from impermenance, and so they practice hard and don't waste time. When they weren't meditating, they used the teachings of the Buddhadharma to help themselves and others. Only when you truly realize that life is impermanent and time short will you be able to practice consistently hard. From now, I suggest you prostrate to your cushion before sitting, to remind yourself of this. Make a vow to be diligent. After you sit down, make another vow not to wait, not to expect the bell to ring signaling the end of the period. Plunge yourself wholeheartedly into the practice. You must do this, because life is impermanent and time is short. At the same time you use the concept of impermanence to immerse yourself in practice, you must also continue to relax your body and mind. It sounds contradictory, but you must approach practice with an alert and diligent, yet relaxed attitude. If you allow yourself to become tense, you will soon become exhausted. If you relax to the point of sleep, kneel on the hard floor for a few minutes. That ought to wake you up. If you become merely drowsy, open your eyes wide and stare at the wall in front of you while you continue to meditate. Once your eyes well with tears, drowsiness should subside. Because our sense of time in daily life is long, maintaining a mind of impermanence is difficult. We become complacent and think we have all the time in the world to do things. Cultivating ourselves during retreats equip us with knowledge and experience that can only enhance our daily lives. The idea of impermanence does not give us leave to do nothing or care about nothing. Quite the reverse, because everything is impermanent, we have no time to waste in idleness, especially when it comes to practice. I once met a man who had only a few months to live. In those remaining months, he accomplished several years worth of work. If you can develop a similar attitude and apply it to practice, your progress will be quick and smooth.